Honestly, it's probably a really good thing that we did not know exactly what we were getting into when we decided to undertake such a big project. This has been hard. In every way. Scott has been out there pretty much every night past midnight since around the middle of or the end of April. I heard him last night come in at 2:30 a.m. He left for work around 7:30 a.m. (which is late for him)...The kids and I go out there with dinner (during the week) and stay until it gets dark, then come home, get showers, and I put them to bed around 10 p.m. The kids and I are usually out there more on week-ends...I feel like a widow and single-mom...it's hard to be going through this project while homeschooling three children, trying to manage a challenging 3 year old (I feel like he is frequently disobeying or complaining about something - usually that he's hungry, thirsty, or hot - and he drinks and eats more than any of us - and he has been like this since the day we "got him" from South Korea! My hope is in the Lord's plans and purposes! I look forward to seeing how God will grow him -- and me -- and all of these children He has entrusted to us with the privilege of training), and trying to maintain most of the kids' other activities - dance, homeschool group, baseball, swim team, piano, birthday parties...Now we're down to just an hour of swim team practice each day and five meets. Scott has been functioning on very little sleep and maintaining his full-time paying job while undertaking this full-time renovation project.
Then I feel guilty because I know this project will have an end (hopefully soon!) and it will not always be like this. In another month or two, we will move and we will all be living in one place - no more trying to manage two houses! Although I am so thankful that God has allowed us to live in such a nice neighborhood and house while we are working on our renovation project - just 10 minutes away. I have a friend that really has been a widow for 3 weeks and is going through tremendous sorrow and pain. I have another friend whose husband is about to leave for Afghanistan for a year. I have another friend whose nephew almost died two months ago, has had terrible seizures, and - praise God - is in rehab and recovering. Those are hard trials. My trial is temporary. My hope is in the Lord. I want to be Spirit-led with Him directing ALL of our decisions...
When we prayerfully decided to buy this property, I thought we were going to demo the entire house or donate it to the fire department (and let them burn it down!) and build the house (same floorplan) we had just sold. That was Plan A. Then Plan B was to hire a general contractor to renovate the existing house. Plan C was when Scott said he wanted to be the general contractor. Plan D was when Scott said that he would be the GC and we would do most of the demo and he wanted to do the electrical work. I guess we're on Plan E now...Lord, our hope and strength is in You alone. We want Your plan for us. Please help us to discern Your plans and purposes for us, and help us to joyfully obey what You have for us. May we glorify You in everything. Please give us the strength, peace, patience, and perseverance to finish this project well, and please somehow strengthen our family during this...Thank you for all of your blessings, for this property, for our family, for our health, for our freedom, for all that we've learned through this project...Amen.
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"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress,
I will not be shaken..." ~ Psalm 62:5-6 ~
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